We Interrupt Thanksgiving to Bring You a Message…. the Turkeys

We, the United Turkeys of America, have a message for you.

We, the United Turkeys of America, have a message for you.

Just because we stick our necks out, doesn't mean we want them chopped off.

Just because we stick our necks out, doesn’t mean we want them chopped off. Besides, we walk around on two legs just like you. Eating things with four legs or no legs is better.

We believe that you would be much better off eating cow or pig or sheep or something slimy for Thanksgiving— or any other time. We know that you are bright, caring, loving human beings who will listen to our reasons, that you are not like Dumb Tom who seems to have problems with where he should stick his head.

Dumb Tom, in the rear, so to speak.

Dumb Tom, in the rear, so to speak.

So listen up folks… Here are four reasons why there should not be a turkey on your platter:

We are tough.

See the glint in my eye. That's a 'don't mess with me glint.'

I am one big, mean, fighting machine!

That's a 'don't mess with me glint' in my eyes.

That’s a ‘don’t mess with me glint’ in my eyes.

We are pretty.

Really, can you think of anyone more beautiful than we are?

Really, can you think of anyone more beautiful than we are? Now if we can just persuade the girls…

We are cultured, we dance!

The fan dance...

The fan dance…

The Conga line.

The Conga line…

The Tango...

The Tango…

Ballet...

The ballet… Check out the toes!

And for the respected elders out there: "Me and my shadow, dancing down the avenue."

And for the respected elders out there: “Me and my shadow, dancing down the avenue.”

We are native, Native Americans.

Long before Europeans came to America we were here, as ancient rock art attests to.

Long before Europeans came to America we were here, as this ancient rock art attests to. In fact, we are even more native than the Natives.

Wow, we are so pretty!

Gobble, gobble. Gobble, gobble, gobble. Translated: Eat snake, that’s what I am doing.

So, my friends…

In closing, I would like to recommend: Eat tofu.

In closing, I would like to make one final recommendation: Eat tofu.

A very Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family from Peggy and me. PS… We will be eating turkey. Don’t tell the flock.

 

 

51 comments on “We Interrupt Thanksgiving to Bring You a Message…. the Turkeys

  1. Someone just showed up on my stats page search term section, looking for “man who lived with turkeys.” I wish I knew who it was, so I could send him over here. Happy Thanksgiving!

    • Thanks, Annika. The wild turkeys that do their stuff outside our house have much more value as entertainers than they do food. A while back, one decided that his reflection that he could see in our pickup’s bumper, was competition. He would stroll back and forth in front of the bumper, gobble, and peck at his enemy. And then he would fly up into the pickup bed to search for his illusive foe. 🙂 –Curt

    • We had it will all of the trimmings at a friend’s last night, Andrew. Delicious. But it was the plump domestic type, not their wild cousins featured in my blog. They have to worry a lot more about the coyotes than they do us. They believe turkey is good year around! 🙂 –Curt

    • That one made me laugh, Linda. Also reminded me of going to the Oakland induction center for my Peace Corps Volunteer physical and lining up with Vietnam draftees. That one physical introduced me to the joys of army life. 🙂 –Curt

    • Thanks Alison! We celebrated with a fun dinner with very eclectic friends ranging from poets and playwrights to Private Investigators and engineers. Now, I have to get back to my bike trip blogging and catching up with my Blogging friends! –Curt

  2. Sorry to take so long to some of the posts I love best, and these turkey shots are awesome! I really do think the birds are pretty, but I wouldn’t want to try to catch one. Dumb Tom is a great moniker. Thanks for making me smile!

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