It’s Not Kansas Anymore, Toto… It’s Burning Man

Of the dozens of candidates for the Wizard I found among my photos, I opted for the Green Man.

What if Dorothy landed at Burning Man instead of Oz? Would she have known the difference?

No doubt she would have found a wizard and the odds are high she would have discovered a number of good and bad witches. There’s even a chance she would have stumbled upon a scantily clad, very, very bad witch wearing black leather and carrying a whip. (I think I have a photo.)

This woman, I decided, would make a great witch.

As for rusting tin men, cowardly lions, and uncoordinated scarecrows, they’ve probably all visited Black Rock City. Think of tens of thousands of people dressed up in costumes.

I can even imagine Larry Harvey, the founder of Burning Man, hiding behind a large psychedelic screen and yelling at Dorothy in a booming voice, “Gift me the witches broom and I’ll gift you a trip to Kansas.

And for some reason, I'm not sure why, I selected this young woman for Dorothy. Maybe it's a sense of innocence.

Gifting is big at Burning Man. So is radical self-reliance. Dorothy and her bosom buddies would have been on their own in searching for the broom without a corporate sponsor to be found. Nor would she have been able to buy food, water or even a new axe for the Tin Man. Consumerism is a no-no.

And how would Dorothy get home? “Follow the yellow brick road, sweetie, and tap your ruby slippers together,” was sound advice for Oz but what about Burning Man?

She’d be better off looking up the Midwest Burners. They are bound to have at least one Fairy Godmother who would happily gift Dorothy and her scruffy dog a ride home to Kansas… after the Man has burned. (BTW… Dogs aren’t allowed at Burning Man. Dorothy might have been sent packing as soon as she arrived.)

It’s serious countdown time here on the Applegate River in Oregon. Burning Man is four days away. The Emails are flying back and forth between the Horse-Bone Tribe.

The Horny Princess is planning on coming in on Tuesday and leaving on Saturday ‘depending on the dust.’ This is absolutely her last Burning Man she announces for the third year in a row.

“Don’t worry about the dust,” Sailor Boy responds. “There’s plenty to go around.”

Luna is picking out her hat; Pumpkin (our second year Burner) is bubbling; Scout is just glad he doesn’t have to cook. So are we. I heard from a spy in the Bigger Sacramento Book Club that Scotty was modeling his latest outrageous Burning Man get-up at the book club meeting.

Details, details, details… like where are we camping, who’s bringing what food, when are folks arriving and what walkie-talkie channel will we be using.

But that’s easy stuff. We are, after all, Burning Man Veterans. Thirty minutes of chit-chat and everything is settled.

My thanks to all the folks who have followed my Burning Man Blogs this year. And special thanks to WordPress for featuring the blogs prominently. This is my last one before the event but I will be back immediately afterwards with photos and stories from 2011. This year shows promise of being one of the best ever.

Sailor Boy toasts Burning man and shows off his colorful outfit.

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